Re-Routing Humour

Last night en route to dinner at Jules, a lady stopped Juroo and I on the subway to ask us for directions.

Now, apparently there's a trick to asking for directions: you need to ask the Right Question.

She asked: "Is this the train that goes Southbound to King Station?"

Annnnd, since we were on the Eastbound platform, I immediately replied: "No, you have to go along that long corridor over there to get to the Southbo--" --by which time she had left with a hurried thank you. Meanwhile, we were left standing there, thinking, mulling over this response.

The truth was, we were also going Southbound. We just happened to be taking a different route.

Keep in mind that to transfer from North/South trains to East/West trains, there are two neighbouring TTC stations that do this: St. George Station (where you walk up or down a flight of stairs to transfer) and Spadina Station (where you walk more than 200 metres down a long scary corridor to transfer).

We were going to transfer trains at St. George, whereas we had just sent the woman off (going in the same direction as us) down that scary corridor.

So what happened? What was so funny?

Well, we got off at St. George Station to switch trains as planned. And we waited for the train to come... and waited... and yes, finally it came. We entered the car, we sat down... and lo and behold, There was the same woman, sitting by the doors, looking over at us incredulously.

She flashed us a hairy eyeball.

We had to move seats. (It became impossible to stop giggling.)

Pistachio Nut Case

You know those hard-to-open shells you get sometimes in a bag of nuts? Well, here I am at work thinking, Great, how am I supposed to open this little guy? Gosh it's hard to open. (I'm paraphrasing.) Now, my desk may be strewn with electronics and papers everywhere but somehow I managed to find the perfect substitution for those absent nutcrackers: handy-dandy needle-nosed pliers. Crack!

Speaking of Nuts: en route to the gym yesterday, I stopped to photograph a store sign boasting it was the "Uptown Nut House" -- and in the window, they also said they gave away free foccacia. Now that's nutty.